Let Em’ Talk Sis…

“While you sitting up here frustrated and spending your time talking about how they treated you, you should focus on yourself. Those folks are sleeping well at night.”

One thing I know for sure is my mother is the queen of shutting me down (in love) and re-positioning my focus on what matters. She had a successful career in her own right and is full of knowledge. The catch is that she doesn’t give it freely. So, when she drops a gem,  you better make sure you pick it up.  You see, I was in a space where my treatment in the workplace was unimaginable for some, but was quite common for a black women in an all white workplace.

I had years of trauma from microagressions, blatant racism, and reaching out for help (“report it”, “meet with HR”) with no resolve.  You have no idea how isolating it feels to be helpless, hurt, isolated, and ignored when you cry out for help. I had had enough. My physical health suffered on so many levels. So… I decided to put myself first… and leave.  Leaving was the best decision I ever made.

Here’s where it gets interesting. I chose to move on. I left, didn’t talk bad, or even file a formal report. What I wasn’t prepared for was the narrative people within the institution created to smear my name. Former colleagues who I considered friends made the decision to say and do things to ensure future opportunities wouldn’t go far and keep me from advancing. I can honestly say that I was hurt. I had known them for years, worked hard alongside and for them, and had been loyal to people who could not care less about me.

I decided not to care and moved forward. The second I did that, everything fell into place and consistent blessings fell in my lap. If you’re reading this, It didn’t work.

So what did I learn? I learned that my Mother is the truth and I’m thankful for that powerful statement of focusing on myself because they are sleeping well at night. So my mantra became “Let Em’ Talk Sis”. Here’s my Top 5 reasons why:

1. Their behavior has NOTHING to do with you and EVERYTHING to do with them, their insecurities, their toxic behavior, and their inability to be happy… Let Em’ Talk Sis.
2. Your success irritates their demons… Let Em’ Talk Sis.
3. Setting expectations for people you think have your back will almost always result in disappointment… Let Em’ Talk Sis.
4. Trust me when I say this;  your name, your ethics, your work, and your worth will supersede mindless chatter… Let Em’ Talk Sis.
5. There are more people rooting for you than anything else. So, focus on the good, not the snakes in the grass… Let Em’ Talk Sis.

What other reasons can you add to this list? I can’t wait to read them in the comments below.

*Header image via Catholic Charities of the Archdiocese of Galveston-Houston