#B29: Birthday Reflections

Yesterday I turned 29.

It is a birthday that can often be discarded. It is the last of your 20s, but it is not 30.

I, however, was not going to let this be just a blah birthday. I planned a full weekend of activities that kicked off with a cooking class with my mom, sister and a friend. Then, I had a good old fashion sleepover where I asked friends to wear all black, and I wore a pop of color. I ended the weekend with a game night at my cousin’s apartment.

I am so so so thankful for my friends and family. Birthdays are the time where I reflect on the past year, consider things that went well, make sense of the things that went all the way left, and take note of the things I accomplished and things still left to do.

As I was preparing for this birthday, I researched the significance of the number 29. What I found really stood out to me: “The number 29 is highly relationships oriented. Its very existence is intertwined with the dynamics of relationships.”

It seemed very timely for the experiences I have had in the last year. I have really tried to cultivate community in my life and work space. In practice, that has looked like more calls, more FaceTime connections, and more reaching out. It hasn’t just been me doing it either. I’ve had friends and family show reciprocity in making connections by reaching out to me as well.

I want to close this reflection by share a few reflections of what I have learned this past year, as well as my intentions for the new year of life.

  1. I have and will continue to pour into relationships with intentionality and grace.
  2. Walk away from selfish people.
  3. Be honest about your intentions.
  4. Don’t assume.
  5. It is ok to not respond to that text or email or to not answer the phone.
  6. Let your phone die.
  7. Don’t make excuses as to why you can’t do your passions.
  8. Stop making excuses for your bullshit.
  9. Look people in the eye when you take shots.
  10. Apologize when you are wrong.
  11. Read that email before you send it.
  12. Shoot your shot in his DMs.
  13. Worship can happen anywhere. Let the Spirit move how it needs to.
  14. Praying with someone is an intimacy that can’t be beat.
  15. Ask for help. Like seriously, don’t suffer in silence.
  16. Talk with God about your desires and fears.
  17. Check yourself on your problematic ways.
  18. Groupme is fascinating and ridiculous at the same time. I love how it creates such a great community, but also, folks really try and separate their real lives from it. So weird, yet again fascinating lol.
  19. Advocate for yourself in the workplace.
  20. Black women are everything and then some.
  21. #CiteaSista has taught me so much, and I am thankful for this space and the knowledge and community it offers.
  22. If you can’t tell your friend, tell your therapist.
  23. Tell him what you like in bed. Don’t assume he knows.
  24. Being a better steward of money is a forever thing. Don’t be ashamed, just keep working at it.
  25. Practice gratitude. It definitely makes a difference.
  26. Stop bullshitting about your health.
  27. Drink water.
  28. Minding your business gives you peace.
  29. Be patient with yourself. Some days you will get it right and some days you won’t. On the days you don’t get it right, put on some music, say a prayer, and go to bed. You will have tomorrow to try again.


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