Being a strong "friend" means I never want to actually talk about the roots of my problems and what's really going on because I don't want to bother people. But receiving a text, phone call, email, something showing a modicum of thought beyond "can you help me with" can be seriously affirming.
“I Expect You to do Well”: Diary of a High-Achieving Black Girl
After writing extensively for three weeks, waiting off and on for written results for another three weeks, and then anxiously counting down the days until the oral defense of my preliminary exams...it happened. I was FINALLY a Doctoral Candidate! It was by far the happiest moment that I have experienced since getting the call with my [...]
I Get Tired Too, Sis.
So, here's the thing...I mean well. We all do (well, most of us). And I still mess up. Despite being a perfectionist in just about every area of my life, I am a flawed friend. And I am painfully aware of that. Through unrelenting processes of critical self-awareness, I have learned to admit my flaws in [...]
Not you too, sis?: Taking Advantage of Fellow #BlackGirlMagic
As a co-founder of #CiteASista and one of five founding members of #SisterPhD I am no stranger to spending a lot of my time working towards (and on) supporting Black women. My research is about Black women. My life's work is on centering and supporting Black women. I work, every day, so fewer Black women [...]
Stop Dismissing Fear of Failure in High Achieving Black Women
My mother raised me not to say anything if I’m not sure what to say. She also taught me to never dismiss the feelings of people around me, even if I do not understand them… And yet, as a high-achieving Black woman (as described by others, this isn’t a narcissism thing), I find myself time [...]
Congresswoman Auntie Maxine Waters (that's her official title by the way), really gave us a lifelong mantra with her edict, #ReclaimingMyTime. There really is power in taking back things (feelings, goals, dreams, etc.) that have been stolen from you. In that regard, we can also think about reclaiming our friendship, energy, and love in the same [...]
Welcome to the Black Girl Friendship Column!
...I am learning that building sisterships with other Black women is essential to my survival in this racially and gender-hostile space. Therefore, I will be using much of my own experience to illustrate how relationship and kinship building may look differently and be uniquely challenging for Black girls and women at the intersections of brilliance and introversion.