The List

Have you written down the list?

You know which one I am talking about. The list of things you want in a mate.

The wish list of romance. The list of hopes and dreams of love.

I haven’t written that list.

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A few weeks ago I was talking with Dr. Joan about love and whatnot and she challenged me to really write that list out. And here we are weeks later… I still haven’t written the list.

Why?

What is so scary about writing down the things I want and desire and have thought about for a while? I know Brittany is going to kill me for not being on time with my deadline. But I have literally been frozen trying to write this… The struggle is REALLLLLLLLLLL.

Am I scared to write this down and be disappointed that it won’t come to light?

Are the things on my list too lofty? Am I wanting too much? This list is not about salary or credit score or height, but truly about how I want my interactions to be with a partner. Last month I wrote about intimacy and that is easy for me. To be poetic and metaphorical, but concrete, letting it out plain…welllll

So here is this list…. It is not fully a poem. It is just something I need to get out. Shoutout to Dr. Joan for pushing me and Brittany for the gentle nudge to finish. I am writing this list as a manifestation of what is to come. I am writing this list as an affirmation of what I deserve. I wrote this list to face the fear and embrace that it can happen. It will happen. Here’s to love:

  1. I want to laugh. Brother make my stomach hurt from laughing so hard at the nonsense. Let’s make corny jokes that only we know and
  2. I want to pray with you and for you and you pray for me. There is intimacy in knowing that God is a provider for all of our desires and you want that for my life.
  3. I want to dream together. Let’s talk about our passions and how we can help one another accomplish them.
  4. I want to question together. The world, the Bible, all the isms, all the problematics.
  5. I want to have great sex. Like I think about it afterward and gets chills sex. Like you want to please me before yourself sex. Like we try out all the kinky sex. Like we can’t get enough of each other… SEX.
  6. I want someone who wants to travel and experiences new places.
  7. I want someone who appreciates the arts. You don’t have to be an artist (although that would be nice) but appreciate it so we can go to concerts and open mic nights and museums and ish together.
  8. I want transparency. I want us to share and be vulnerable. Even if it is uncomfortable. I want to tear down masculinity with our vulnerability.
  9. I want someone who looooovvvesss to listen to music. Like to the point we can share new music with each other. (Because that’s foreplay duh)
  10. I want someone who is good with money (in terms of budgeting and planning so we can do all the stuff I want to do) I can learn from someone else.
  11. I want someone who is patient. Because I can be stubborn and I can snore. So your patience in those two things is greatly appreciated.
  12. I want someone who challenges me and inspires me to be better. Someone who wants to be in my corner cheering me on. And of course, I would be doing the same.
  13. I want someone who can be social. I am involved in a lot and I be doing a lot. LOL. But if we go to an event, you can mix with folks. If we are with my family, you can mix in with them. (I got a lot of cousins)
  14. I want someone who cares about people. Someone who understands that liberation is in love and daily we should strive towards loving more and more.

To my future love: With this list, I will match you with all these and more. I am open to whatever more you bring outside of this list as well. I hope that we have a love that complements the badass people we already are and that with our love we make the world better.  -BCB

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